Upcoming Movies
Today wasn’t a good day, pain-wise, so I spent it watching movie trailers. w00t.
Resident Evil: Afterlife – Appears to be Matrix Revolution 3D. I suspect that the story is invisible.
The Expendables – Has everyone and their awesome uncle too. With this cast, there is no damn way it can live up to my 5* expectations now. And besides, who would waste time on a script or script writer when you’ve got Bruce Willis, the Governator, Stallone, Statham, JET LI (!!!), Dolph Lundgren, Eric Roberts, Terry Crews, Mickey Rourke, Randy Couture, Steve Austin, Brittany Murphy, Danny Trejo, and Charisma Carpenter? I will probably end up liking this one about as little as I did Pulp Fiction.
Toy Story 3 – Maybe I’m overreacting to Ken. Maybe I’m under reacting. Either way, I’m utterly unexcited by the next Toy Story, and that is a crying shame.
Step Up 3D – … Uh… Huh… ? As usual, the dance scenes are mesmerizing (if you’re into that kinda thing) and the story is in the way, but 3D? Really? Isn’t the boob shake in Soul Caliber 3 enough for you?
The Other Guys – A buddy cop movie where The Rock & Samuel L Jackson are the bad-ass cops, and Will Ferrell & Mark Walhberg are the other cops. This is one that I’ll want to see.
Dinner for Schmucks – Uh. [o.O] Steve Carrell and Paul Rudd. Apparently the higher ups at Rudd’s company throw a party where they bring dorks to make fun of. Carrell is Rudd’s dork. Wacky wacky and I can’t tell if Jade will want to see this one or not. I’ll watch it if she does.
Grown Ups – Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Rob Schneider, David Spade and Kevin James. I have no personal interest, mostly because it is a comedy and my sense of humor was stillborn, but I’ll watch it with Jade because it has Adam Sandler and Kevin James.
After.Life – I can’t tell, from the previews, if this is a simple tits and screams (in which case I’ll pass) or if the movie is a dark fantasy about the half dead. It does look to be lusciously shot, which sadly probably means it is the kind of movie I’ll forgo.
Splice – Creature horror isn’t usually to my taste and the only thing I found interesting here was David Hewlett.
Sex in the City 2 – Guess what I thought?
I think my eyebrows are stuck to my hair line now.
The A Team – Hahahaha! Okay, that was ridiculous. I’m in.
Knight and Day – Tom Cruise (he who is detestible) and Cameron Diaz in a bizarre spy flick. Thing. I’m sold on it today, but I have a feeling (based on my past history) that I am going to either forget all about this movie for ever and ever, or I simply won’t care when it actually hits. The crazy part does make it more interesting though…
Salt – I’d actually seen the trailer before and I already know that I am going to see and enjoy this movie. I wish it were out on DVD already so that I could watch it now. Angelina Jolie as a maybe sleeper super agent who isn’t quite awake yet? I have a feeling that like Jumper and Wanted and even Iron Man, I am going to like Salt a lot more in hindsight than I did when watching it in the first place. (Bonus points for their twitter account being in the damn trailer!)
Solitary Man – I’ve learned that I don’t like pretty much anything with Danny Devito in it. The same goes for the last dozen years with Michael Douglas. This movie has both. Er, what is it about? It’s about some idiot who has it all and loses it. Probably by being a pathetic prick. Which is apparently lovable, because he takes a time out from trying to bang babies to teach a loser how to get chicks too. Or something. If this is supposed to be a “feel good” movie, then I’d want to strangle myself afterwards.
And there were a few other trailers that I saw before I decided to keep track.
